Timmy Fell Down The Well

Any comparisons to real life are not realistic since real life does not happen on the Internet but in our voting booths, our choices of life styles and our animals.

In the beginning there was God.
Life was good until…
God got lonely and created Man.
Life was good until…
God knew Man was lonely and created Woman
God created Animals to assist Man & Woman
They feasted on ribs and fish and bread
God taught Man to live on Belief & Faith,…
Life was good until…
Some Men created false beliefs thinking that was faith.

To counter sins…
God saw Man valued false beliefs & created DOG
DOG taught selfless love to Man who became ManKIND.
God and DOG together taught a good life with Belief,
Love & Friendship and without money
DOG became a part of all Men’s walks of life
Life was good until…
Man created evil when he could not accept God or DOG
Turning themselves into false prophets like PETA and HSUS.

Then came a great flood where Noah gathered all dogs, animals and mankind to sail away on a great ship, called the Ark.  They left behind the PETA & HSUS people species as false prophets, if just mankind were to survive.  PETA & HSUS survived because manure floats.  Mankind survived because they could dog-paddle around the world.  Then, too, because God is good & DOG is love, the false prophets were left alive so they could be saved.

Life was good until…
Man created the IRS who believed man should live without money.
Man created government so Man could live without faith.
Man created more government agencies like APHIS, USDA & DNR who all thought one blanket policy was all Mankind needed to survive.
That meant no Animals & especially NO DOGS.

Then, when APHIS, USDA & DNR took up much of mankind’s lives, they were infiltrated by animal & mankind haters called HSUS & PETA, individuals whose DNA were still furious for being left behind when the good ark did sail lo those many centuries ago.  There became a great war that was not fought over beliefs but because of mankind’s dependency on animals.  The selfless love of a dog infuriated those without compassion -- Animal Rights (AR) Activists -- the most.  HSUS & PETA knew that the dog had to go and go first.  Once gone, mankind would never stand a chance until they, too, were extinct.  Without dogs, it would be one generation and out for mankind.  Mankind would be feeble putty in the claws of the AR Activists.

HSUS & PETA worked 24/7 to herd mankind and their animals aboard a great ship called the USDA/APHIS Titanic and set sail straight for the biggest iceberg possible whilst leaving HSUS & While behind on shore, PETA wildly jumping up and down over their impending success -- keepers of the American castles.

In the meantime back on land, there was a great election of leaders.  It was the big O and the big JO, the pied pipers against conservative Leaders who supported religious freedom, small government, personal liberties, love of family & self; brandishing their dogs atop vehicles as hood ornaments to point the way.

Reporters & the media ran around like lemmings to the sea supporting the pied pipers, never realizing they were just mere pawns in the hands of the AR Activists.

Whereupon Balto, savior of mankind from icebergs, gave out a great call to all dogs throughout all centuries dashing across the water on jet skis dog sleds to deliver a message:  “Whoooooaaaa Boat.”  Then came the jet ski dog sleds commanded by all the dogs that mankind has loved…Lassie, RinTinTin, Toto, Marmaduke, Astro, Prince Tom, Hooch, Beethoven, Barry, Big Bob, Bodger, Boomer, Bowser, Bruno, Brutus, Buddy, Bullet, Burger Beagle, Butch, Buttons, Canis Major, Canis Minor, Carface Caruthers, Chainsaw, Champion, Charley, Chester Drescher, Chester The Molester, ChingChing, Chip Chopper, ChingChing, Clifford, Corkie, Corn Doggie, Cuddley Dudley, Cupcake, Coco, Diesel, Deputy Dawg, Dippy Dog, Dirty Dog, Dogzilla, Duke, Eagle, Earl, Fairy Wogdog, Fast Eddie, Fido, Fifi, Flapjack, Fluffy, Foofur, Frank, Fred, Frisky, Goldy, Goober, Goofy, Greyfriars Bobby, Gromit, Hambone, Handsome Dan, Huckleberry Hound, Jiggs, Jumbo Red, Kavik, Kipper, Kojak, Lad, Lady, Laughing Gravy, Little Ann, Lochinvar Bobby, Lucky Pup, Ma Beagle, Man Ray, Marr-Mutt, Meathead, Mighty Manfred, Mr Chips, Mr Smelly, Offisa Bull Pup, Old Bill, Old Drum, Old Flinthead, Old Yeller, Oscar, Pal, Patch, Peanut, Pepper, Pickles, Pink Pirate, Pluto, Pongo, Pookah, Porky, Pretsel, Prince, Puddy, Scruffy, Shep, Shithead, Skipper, Snarleyyow, Snorkysaurus, Sparky, Spike, Sport, Spot, Strongheart, Tackhammer, TamTam The Chiseler, Teddy Salad, Theodore Peteroff, Thunderbolt, Tiger, Tramp, Ubu, Underdog, White Fang, White Shadow, Won Ton Ton, Wylie Burp, Young Mustard, Yukon King, Zero, Zeus, Zippy, The Pup, Quark, Queenie, Rags, Red Dog, Rebel, Rascal, Rex, Rinty, Rocky, Roger Dog, Rosebud, Rover, Rufus, Rusty, Sam, Sandy, Scamp, Scooby Doo, Topo Gigo & Tinkerbelle.

Arriving first on the scene as the big ship loomed near the great big iceberg, Balto and his husky team cried out again.  Mankind came to the rails looking in wonderment at all of the dogs that have helped them through life’s goodness.  But still no one jumped the rail to land safely within loving dog paws.

That is until…Lassie masterfully wielded her jet boat and barked out her lifeline…  “Come help, Timmy has fallen down the well and can’t get up.  We need your vote, your voice to save all the Timmys of the America.

As if they were one, mankind peeled over ship rails & jumped into the dog-led jetskis, in gratitude for the love of a good dog.  All sailed back to America where HSUS & PETA stood sullenly at shore.  They whined… Timmy didn't fall down any well.  Lassie growled and said "You pushed my Timmy down the well", you rat bastard."

Then, on Election Day mankind voted out big government, socialist economies, dependency, AR platforms for…ManKIND, Animals and man’s best friend -- the DOG.  Toto turned to Whiney PackYourCells & jubilantly threw a bucket of water all over her.  She cried “I’m melting, I’m melting” until a brown lump was all that was left.  Toto walked over that pile of manure and hiked his leg calling out “Spay/Neuter THIS".

After the big election, life wasn’t just good, it was Great.

DOG smiled down on earth and looked across at God.
“Every dog has its day especially when Timmy finds a well to fall into.”

The End

~~ Anonymouse ~~